Still Hard to Believe

      It's still hard to believe that my body is producing a human. It seems like time is going by so slow too. I do appreciate the slow passage of time school wise because I enjoy being on break for now. My medical is still pending, so Im still worried about that not going through. We cleaned out my former "office/getting ready room" and made lots of room for baby. We still have some moving around to do, and a lot of spring cleaning. Although I've been having tons of free time, none of it’s with Brett. I think his boss schedules him off on my only 8 hour shifts on purpose. Blah. We could get so much done together if we only had the same days off.
      Lately I have sort of been feeling alone. I have noticed who my true friends are, and those are the ones that can put my condition aside and accept me for who I am, and also accept me for the things that I can no longer do. Thank God I have an iPad, and my two cats, or else I don't even know what I would do. Part of the sadness I believe stems from my lack of energy and going to the gym. So this week I started going to the gym again. And let me tell you, IT'S NOT THE SAME!!!!! I have to take a few minutes in between each small work out so I don't faint, or throw up. I used to be able to work out for hours on end without taking any breaks. I was a work out machine. I went from 10lb free weights, to 5lb free weights, running miles to using an elliptical, spinning for 30-40min down to 15-25min. Which is all for a good cause. I can't do things like I used to, which has also put me a little down, it makes me feel like it's me failing but Im not. I am getting used to the fact that I CAN'T DO THINGS THE WAY I USED TO, which is hard. I am also learning that baby comes first, if something is too strenuous, I have to slow down. I have learned to altar my workouts, and take it slow. I can't jump into a body sculpt class like I used to (I learned that last week when I found myself hovering over the toilet at school). That's my update for the week, sorry it has taken me so long to post.